The group quieted down, the video cameras were rolling, and Pamela asked us all to take one step forward to make the circles a little smaller. I was barefoot and had to step carefully to avoid the tiny cactus plants that seemed to be everywhere. A simple invocation or benediction was made, inviting Spirit to be with us all. A palpable energy entered the dawn meadow as the Sun peaked up through the tree line to the East. Whatever Beingness we had called had answered, and we all felt it.
The Video Cameras Roll
Some of us felt this presence in unexpected ways.
It had fallen to me to let the spiritual presence we had become so familiar with speak through me. To start, I had been trying to give a visualization which was basically this: We were to imagine a pyramid of Earth energy, the essence or spirit of our planet, rising up from the ground into each of our bodies. At the same time, we were to let a second pyramid descend from the spiritual realms that we visualized above us. The two forms were to meet and merge together within ourselves, as living conduits and connectors. This would be the first step in merging the outer, earthly world with the inner or higher spiritual world that was separate from us in ordinary life. This was a task we understood and, whether or not we could actually do it, we thought we could. It was simply a prayer.
Perhaps, to the surprise of many, it was working. For a few moments. Then people started reacting to the energies that had appeared. Things got pretty intense for a few, which was very distracting. I lost my focus and had to stop speaking. The energies at work that morning were powerful and real, and we each reacted to them as best we could.
But as we had learned many times over, spirit acts in strange ways. Looking back today, I would say these disruptions were a test. Some of us passed; some failed. I waited for things to quiet down again, trying to push the disruptions out of my mind. This was not deliberate – it was all I could do at the moment. I was trying to feel the others to get some sense of what to do next, but all I could feel were the waves of disturbed energy ricocheting across the meadow. It was as if someone had dropped a rock into a bathtub of water. I believe now that this was the very moment nearly all those in the meadow formed their impressions of what happened that morning, and equally as important, their emotional reactions to it. It was a test of our mettle and determination.
For my part, I gave up. I silently asked my inner guides, “If you want me to do something else here, you’ll have to take over, because I can’t do anything.”
Of course, this was precisely what they were waiting for.
I was not prepared for what happened next. I was overtaken by one I’ll simply call the Teacher. I remained fully conscious, as I always had when the Teacher spoke through me, but I was acutely aware that the words were not my own. I was empty, and had no words. Here is part of what he said, taken verbatim from the video that was still rolling:
First, Imagine the white protective Light surrounding all of us. Allow your senses to be open and allow the experiences of this morning to come in a natural way with no editing. Be open to what you see, for this is your time to see.
Curiously, at this point a one year old baby girl cried out with delight, as if she could actually see what we adults could not. The non-physical presence, singular or plural, was apparently visible to her, and she happily recognized it. The Teacher went on:
The Unity of all the teachers is with us. Take a moment now and allow any teacher who wishes to come up to you and stand before you, to embrace you, to gaze into your eyes and to share the energy that they have with you.
Take a few moments for this. [Pause]
Slowly allow the energy to come up from within the Earth. Bring it up, through your feet, and allow it to rise all about you. It is the warm and loving energy of Mother Earth. It has risen up into all of you where she will wait for a few moments – the expectant bride.
Now, rise in spirit with the Teachers.
Rise to the heavens to meet the highest essence of God that you can imagine and bring it back down until it is just above you – the expectant groom.
Now we will consecrate the ground in our hearts. Take a moment in your own manner and say a short prayer or make a short visualization. We are going to allow the consecration and the blessing of each person standing here this morning. Know that this is done to all equally, regardless of position, regardless of experience, regardless of age.
Allow your guides, your teachers, to come to you and present to you whatever is their gift. It is going to be a part of your self. If they seem to be presenting you with objects, know that the object is merely a symbol for a part of yourself. It is not a real object. It is not something you go searching for in stores. It is something you will find within you.
If they raise to you a mirror, know that they have given you yourselves. They have given you a gift of yourself to shine the Light that is now within you and without you.
If they seem to be giving you themselves, they are giving you guidance that will stay with you. They are giving you discernment. They are giving you self-confidence.
See if you can detect what else they are giving you. [Pause]
This is our blessing to you. You may always think of this spot. You may always think of the teachers and the guides that you have this morning. You may always ask them for assistance. You may always ask me for assistance, for I am with every teacher and with every guide and with every one of you.
Remember this morning.
Remember where you are now, on this planet and on this plane.
There may not always seem to be perfection in every thing. Yet, out of every thing can come perfection and love.
I wasn’t really aware of the words I was speaking, although I could hear myself talking in a strong voice. Someone said a few closing words, but I didn’t hear that either. I was my small self again. All I could imagine was that I had failed – that the whole thing had been a failure. I looked around at the others and was greeted with many faces of disappointment. I walked over to Pamela and we started back towards the trail, holding hands. Neither of us spoke.
The Doubtful Denouement
Back at the campground, we closed the door to our cabin and laid down on our beds. Soon someone knocked on the door, but I couldn’t face anyone. Pamela went outside and after a while she returned and asked me to come out, too. Several from the Santa Cruz and Santa Fe groups were there. A few were pleased, saying they had had profound experiences. A few were disappointed. No one knew if we had accomplished what we had set out to do. Had we actually made any connection between Earth and Spirit? A few were joyful about having such a wonderful experience, but many were angry because their expectations hadn’t been met.
No spaceships had landed. (The video people, especially, had hoped for this. Surprisingly, many others had too.)
Nobody ascended in clouds of glory. Many had hoped to.
Many, it was reported to us second-hand, felt robbed and cheated. We had cheated them, they said, although many that had showed up were strangers.
Two women, a mother and her daughter, approached Pamela and accosted her, filled with anger. They had expected some sort of major transformational experience, and hadn’t received it, they thought.
I didn’t want any part of the whole mess. I didn’t understand how so many people could have such a widely varying experience of the same event. I was disappointed, too, and it was a long time before I eventually understood what had really happened. We had misunderstood it. I had misunderstood it. The forces that had come into me scared me. I was terrified that I had been selected for something I could not handle. For years I pushed those moments with the Teacher down inside me and refused to look at them.